A Brief Moment in TIme Read online

  My time here isn’t over. It was a strange thought, yet one that gave him a sense of purpose and fulfillment as well as immense satisfaction. He was excited about his plan and eager to learn more about Kate’s teaching. And he knew what he needed in order to begin.

  KATHRYN HANDED the slip of paper to Adele as she walked in the hospital room the following day. Adele stared at the note, words forming silently on her lips. After several seconds, she asked the obvious question. “Who is this?”

  “Adele, I don’t know of anyone else by that name,” Kathryn declared. “Doesn’t it seem strange that I wake up from weeks in a coma, having dreamed of someone named Gavin, and right away a person named Gavin calls? It’s kind of freaking me out. I don’t know what to do.”

  “Is this all there was to the message?”

  “Yes, and there’s another strange thing; look at the date on the message—it’s the day I came out of the coma, but I just received it yesterday.”

  “Why would he only leave a first name? No last name or contact information? It’s like he expected you to know him.”

  “I know,” Kathryn shuddered. “It’s really weird.”

  “Did you mention your dreams to anyone else, any of your family?”

  “No, but I was thinking the same thing, that someone was just…playing a joke.” She paused. “Please say it wasn’t you.” She knew deep down that her friend would never stoop to such a hurtful practical joke, but she needed to hear it.

  “I would never do that!” Adele exclaimed.

  “I’m sorry.” Kathryn regretted her accusation. “I know that; I really do. I’m just trying to sort this out, examine every possibility, that’s all.”

  “All right, then,” Adele said, having moved on and already deep in thought. “Why don’t we work backward in solving this? Let’s assume that there is a man named Gavin—the very one you met in your dream. You had detailed information about him. You knew his file. He was at Swenton, right?”

  “Yes, I see what you’re saying!” Kathryn was excited to have some direction. “Let’s find out if there is a Gavin McDermott at Swenton.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Adele...” Kathryn stopped to think through their plan of action. “What if there is? What do I do if there is actually a man named Gavin McDermott incarcerated at Swenton Prison?”

  “Obviously you’re not going to call him out of the blue and tell him you’ve been dreaming about him,” Adele laughed.

  “Or pay him a visit,” Kathryn added, aware of how ludicrous it sounded.

  “We’re getting ahead of ourselves.” Adele put the situation back in perspective. “Let’s take one step at a time and trust that the next step will reveal itself. Who knows? We may still find a reasonable explanation.”

  Kathryn had tried to think through all the “reasonable” explanations. She had asked one of the nurses about the possibility of her getting the note by mistake. She was more than willing to believe that it was meant to go to someone else, someone who did have a friend or relative named Gavin. The nurse followed up on it; she even talked to the girl who had taken the message. It had been several days, but the girl remembered the conversation. She said the man had definitely inquired about Ms. Harding’s condition and was hesitant to leave a message, but then changed his mind and told her to say that Gavin called.

  “Will you call Swenton for me?”

  “Why don’t I try right now?” Adele looked at her watch. “It’s going to drive you crazy until you know something. It’s only four o’clock there. I might be able to get someone in administration.”

  “What are you going to say?” Kathryn was as nervous as she’d ever been. “They might not give out information on the prisoners.”

  “If not, then we’ll find another route,” Adele assured her.

  Kathryn waited anxiously as Adele went down to the main lobby to use the phone. If someone by the name of Gavin McDermott was a prisoner at Swenton, she had no idea what she was going to do about it. If not, they were back to square one, wondering who had left the message.

  The minutes seemed endless as Kathryn waited to hear what news, if any, her friend would return with. She searched Adele’s face as she entered the room. Adele looked perplexed, and Kathryn knew she’d learned something. “What did you find out?” she demanded eagerly.

  “There is a Gavin McDermott,” Adele shook her head as if she didn’t quite believe what she was about to say. “He’s been at Swenton for the past seventeen and a half years. But…” she took a deep breath before she continued. “He’s not there anymore; he was just released.”

  “Released?” Kathryn repeated. “Fully released already? Did they say if he’s had any partial release, any day passes?”

  “No, and they wouldn’t give me a forwarding address or any particulars about his time at Swenton.”

  Kathryn’s head was swirling with the new information, but just as quickly, she was making a plan. “Can you do more research for me? His parents’ names are Carol and Richard. They’ve lived on a farm near Redding since Gavin was little. He has a sister named Sandra. I don’t know her married name, but she’s a nurse.

  “There must be a way to get information on prisoners,” Kathryn continued, barely stopping for a breath. “See what you can find. The incident took place in Redding. It was gang related. Check back to see what news stories you can find. It was nearly eighteen years ago; fall of 1992, I believe.”

  Adele was scribbling down information as fast as Kathryn spoke.

  “He’s thirty-five, maybe thirty-six by now. His middle name is…” Kathryn probed her memory, trying to recall information she’d read about him in his file. “I want to say Richard, after his father, but I don’t think that’s right. I think it’s Edward. Try both names.

  “He’s well over six feet and weighs, I don’t know, two hundred and twenty, maybe more. Much of it is muscle; he’s in very good shape.” Kathryn could see his body in her mind, and again she felt passion stir within her. Suddenly she wanted him to be real, wanted him to be the Gavin she’d come to know—the Gavin she’d fallen in love with.

  It was a long shot, but she wanted to give it all she had. She wouldn’t rest until she’d learned why he had been such a dominant player in her dreams for the past weeks, and why now it seemed he was trying to contact her.

  Chapter 16

  GAVIN WATCHED eighteen years of his life fade away as he exited the gates of Swenton Maximum Security Prison as a free man. He felt strangely calm now, but his parents were overcome with emotion at the suddenness of his release.

  “You’ll need some things,” his mother declared, not even trying to hide the excitement in her voice.

  “The basics, I guess,” Gavin agreed. “I could definitely use some new clothes. No stripes, though,” he laughed. It was a joke, of course. Prisoners at Swenton wore regular clothes, but they were prison issue with no style or individuality.

  “There’s something else I’d like to get,” he added hesitantly, not wanting to take advantage of their kindness. “…if you don’t mind.”

  “Whatever you need, Gavin, don’t hesitate to ask,” his father assured him. “It’s no problem. Don’t worry about money either.”

  “It’s not the money.” Gavin had saved most of the paltry wages he’d made in prison, and he was given a sum from the government upon release. Over all it wasn’t a lot, but it would help him feel somewhat independent until he could find a job. “I mean, I want to pay for my own things. What I’d really like to get is a computer. Do you mind if we look around today?”

  “Of course we can do that,” his father replied. “Do you know what you want?”

  “No, not really,” Gavin shrugged. “But I’m sure we can find someone knowledgeable.”

  With those objectives, they went to one of the city’s mammoth shopping malls. For his parents it was a labor of love, but for Gavin it was an adventure. Buying new clothes was enjoyable, but shopping in an electronics megastore was a dream
come true; he had no idea the kinds of things that existed in such a place. He kept the sales clerk busy for much longer than most people took to buy an entire new home entertainment system. Gavin left the store that afternoon with a laptop computer and a wealth of knowledge that would be invaluable in the weeks to come.

  KATHRYN RETURNED HOME recovered in body, stable in mind, but wavering significantly in spirit. Her life had been turned upside down. Her work at the university had been suspended while she was in the hospital, and now it looked as if it would be terminated. Her team had found other employment. Adele had gone back to private practice. It was as if everything she’d worked so hard for had crashed with her in the car that day.

  Beginning again felt overwhelming. The rehabilitation program had been Kathryn’s sole focus since her husband died. Now she didn’t know where to turn or what direction to take, other than setting up her own practice again as Adele had done.

  It had been years since she’d been in private practice. Working with people was what she loved, but it was her belief in the program she’d developed, her conviction that it could radically change lives and transform the nation’s penal system, that had driven her, nearly consumed her. Now she wasn’t sure she had what it would take to pick up the baton again.

  On top of the confusion over what to do with her life, she had the knowledge that everything she’d had Adele verify about Gavin was true. The problem was, Kathryn had absolutely no idea what to do with the information.

  Whenever she thought about the program, she thought of Gavin, and whenever she thought of Gavin, she grieved the loss of what could have been. Not so much for herself. It had been so much bigger than just a relationship. She realized that now. Ultimately, Gavin represented the success of her program. Without Gavin, there was no success, no program, and sadly, no hope.

  She tried to pull herself together. She knew that the principles she wanted to share with prisoners to help transform their lives were the very things that could help her too.

  It was easier, somehow, to see the sty in someone else’s eye than to see the log in her own. Other’s problems seemed apparent and the solutions clear-cut, while her own issues were muddied and confusing. Nevertheless, as the wisdom of the age-old book stated, she needed to take the log from her own eye before she could see clearly to help others.

  Kathryn realized she not only wanted but needed the kind of counseling she offered others. It was an easy choice to turn to Adele. She made the appointment with her secretary, knowing Adele would be hesitant to see her in a professional manner. She’d been Adele’s boss and had more years of experience in the field of psychology, but Adele was gifted. She understood and taught the same things Kathryn did, plus she knew what Kathryn had experienced while in a coma. Adele was the obvious person to help her sort things out.

  “Kathryn, it’s good to see you,” Adele welcomed her friend into her office. “I have a two o’clock appointment, but if you don’t mind waiting for a bit, I’ll have Judith reschedule the rest of my patients. We can get some coffee or a bite to eat…”

  “I am your two o’clock appointment,” Kathryn interrupted her friend.

  “You don’t have to schedule an appointment with me, Kathryn. We can talk any time. Besides, I ought to be the one paying you for advice, not the other way around.”

  “I haven’t been living what I teach,” Kathryn admitted. “I’ve gotten off track. I’m confused, and I need someone to help me sort it all out. I wouldn’t put myself in anyone else’s hands. I need your help, and I think this is the best way to go about it.”

  “All right, if this is what you want.”

  “It’s what I need.”

  GAVIN WAS HONORED that his sister joined their parents in welcoming him home. With her kids out of school for the summer, she’d taken a month off work, and Gavin was eager to spend time with his sister and his nieces. Sandra was two years older than he was. They hadn’t exactly been close as teenagers, but as adults they had a connection.

  He was glad for her expertise, which she claimed was minimal, when it came to using the computer. There was so much that Gavin didn’t know, and he was hungry to learn.

  She’d done a rather extensive search on Kate’s teaching and excitedly shared what she’d found. “I’m impressed. This teaching is simple yet powerful. The rehabilitation program Ms. Harding is proposing to establish in prisons is remarkable. There’s nothing like it out there. I’ve looked at some of the results of the work she and her husband have done, and it’s really impressive. It’s literally changing not only the mental health profession but the world of medicine as well.”

  Gavin was happy to hear his sister speak highly of Kate and her program. He knew her methods worked; he’d experienced it—albeit in an altered state of consciousness. Regardless of how it had come to him, he had definitely benefited from it.

  He told Sandra about his dream of helping the men at Swenton, and she encouraged him. “I think that’s a great idea, Gavin. You know what it’s like in there; you know what they’re going through. You could get this message across better than anyone. And not just Swenton. I mean you could start there, but you could eventually speak to other prisons as well. It would have been nice,” she added, “if you could have met this woman and learned from her directly. It sounds like she had a real passion for this work.”

  Gavin winced inwardly as he listened to his sister’s comment and longed to share what he knew. He hated being less than honest with his family, but he knew how absurd the truth sounded. “Maybe I will yet,” he replied, “…one day.”

  KATHRYN FELT at ease in Adele’s care. She took on the role of patient and was willing to listen to whatever her friend and counselor had to say.

  “I’d like to touch on a couple of things,” Adele began. “This might seem like an irrelevant issue, but would you object to being called Kate?”

  The question left Kathryn completely taken aback. She’d not yet shared with Adele the conversation they’d had in her unconscious state, nor had she mentioned that Gavin called her Kate.

  “I know you were Kate as a child,” Adele said gently. “And I know your reasons for changing your name. But I’ve always felt Kate suited you better. Kathryn feels...I don’t know...contrived somehow. Like you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.”

  The words were the same as in the dream. Kathryn didn’t know how to respond.

  “It’s not a big deal,” Adele apologized. “I didn’t mean to offend you. It’s just...something I’ve thought of before, and it may be significant.”

  “Gavin called me Kate,” Kathryn said softly as she dealt with the emotion that arose. “He could see the part of me I’ve been hiding. You’re right, you know. In fact, we’ve had this conversation before.”

  “We have?”

  “Well,” Kathryn laughed, “technically I had the conversation with myself. Just now...the way you said that...it was almost exactly the way I dreamed it.”

  Adele’s look of confusion lingered for a moment longer. Then she shook her head and laughed with her friend. “Wow, this is really going to be interesting. Tell me, did we have any other conversations I should know about?”

  “Yeah, we did, but I’m not sure they’re relevant right now. What was the other thing you wanted to discuss?”

  “I was wondering what condition your inner space is in,” Adele replied. “It’s the basis of what we teach others, so I thought it would be a good place to begin.”

  Kathryn knew that Adele was right in bringing it up. She hadn’t taken much time for herself, hadn’t given much thought to her own spiritual condition. It was undoubtedly the reason she was feeling so low. “It feels cluttered and disorganized right now,” she admitted. “It’s supposed to be a sanctuary, yet it feels like a place that’s been ignored and uncared for, for too long.”

  “Well,” Adele declared, “we really got to the heart of that one. It’s kind of fun working together like this. I forgot how well we read each other.”<
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  Kathryn nodded. They did make a good team. She was truly grateful for her dear friend. Relaxing in her chair, she closed her eyes, already anticipating what would come next.

  Adele led her through a guided meditation, and Kathryn was delighted by how good it felt to be guided rather than the one doing the guiding. It had been a long time since she’d reversed roles with anyone.

  As she listened to Adele’s voice, Kathryn soon began to feel renewed comfort in the familiar place she’d created long ago. She looked around her space with fondness and a longing to spend time there again. She felt safe once more as she connected to the part of her she’d been ignoring.

  Soft, satin tears slipped down her cheeks as a warmth radiated through her. The rhythm of her breath comforted her, and she felt her vibration begin to rise. She was at home, and that felt tremendously refreshing after being away for so long.

  When Adele finished speaking, Kathryn opened her eyes and wiped away the tears on her cheeks. “I needed that,” she smiled. Her time was almost up, and she wanted to keep their meeting professional. “I’ve booked two more sessions this week. I believe we’re on the right track.” She took Adele’s hand, squeezing it lovingly. “You really are very good.”

  “Thanks, Kath…” Adele paused and they looked at each other, both knowing the question on her mind.

  “Call me Kate.” For the first time she felt the name truly suited her. “I think I’m ready for a change.”

  GAVIN WAS TRULY enjoying time with his family. He and his dad spent afternoons in the shop working on projects. They shared the same work ethic, paying close attention to detail. They were both perfectionists who took pride in their work, and Gavin found it very satisfying. There was yard work and gardening to be done as well, and he gladly helped out.

  He still couldn’t express how it felt to be a free man. He was glad to have the understanding Kate had given him. He felt no resentment or bitterness when he reflected on his time in prison. It was the contrast he’d needed, and now it was behind him.