A Brief Moment in TIme Read online

  “Your contribution to the group sessions will be invaluable,” Kate informed him. “The men are going to be skeptical at first, reluctant to share, possibly even rude and disruptive. Having you with me is going to make a big difference.”

  “I’m excited to see what effect this program can have on others,” he agreed. “But...how do I explain knowing all this? I mean...I’ve only been out for a matter of weeks, yet I’ve been learning this and applying it for months now.”

  “We’ll have to come up with an answer for that one, and probably a few other questions, too,” she replied as the bizarre reality of their unique situation impressed itself on her again.

  Gavin seemed to read her thoughts. He moved toward her and she leaned into his embrace. “How can we be sure this is real?” she asked, not really expecting an answer.

  “It might not be,” he smiled, holding her close as if she might somehow vanish. “It depends on what definition of real you use. I’ve been thinking about that too. If anything is real, love is. If that’s the case, then I know what we have is real, and it can endure anything. It may be the only thing we can count on in this crazy experience called life.”

  Gavin’s wisdom astonished her as it had more than once in her dreams. Adele had suggested that he was connected to a higher knowing, and Kate wanted to learn more about his journey. “Gavin, what do you do to maintain the spiritual connection that you have?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Do you meditate or pray…I mean, is this something that you had a conscious desire to learn about, or has it come to you naturally?”

  “Before I met you, I used to spend half the night dreaming—although I was awake,” he clarified. “It was more like daydreaming, my way of escaping. When your sessions started, I realized that your guided meditations weren’t all that much different. Only you took me further than I’d ever gone before.” They both realized the double meaning in what he had just said and began laughing.

  “My pleasure,” Kate said, thinking of their unforgettable first time.

  “Mine too.” He kissed her hair.

  “Did you feel a connection,” she asked, returning to the topic, “when you meditated?”

  “It was addictive, even when I did it on my own. It was the only time I felt free, and I couldn’t wait to return to it every night. After I met you, the meditations changed and you became part of them. You were always in my dreams, guiding me.” He smiled at her. “We had amazing adventures.

  “Then one night,” he continued, “I was feeling confused, questioning what was happening to me, and I started talking to you...in my mind. I asked you questions and you answered me. After that, I talked to you all the time and learned things from you in my dreams.”

  “Is that how you knew what I would be talking about in my sessions? You freaked me out sometimes, bringing something up right before I was about to introduce it.”

  “I don’t know. The sessions I experienced were different.” He was quiet for a moment and then asked the question that was on both their minds. “Do you think we’ll ever figure this out?”

  Kate wasn’t sure. She’d certainly attempted to sort it out in the past two days. They’d had similar encounters. They’d been a part of each other’s reality, but the differences seemed to indicate that the realities were unique, separate even, yet connected in a way she couldn’t understand. Still, she had to trust her Higher Self. “I believe wisdom comes to us when we ask,” she replied. “We’ll understand this one day.”

  “So when I asked for wisdom in my dreams, was it coming from you, or did you represent something bigger, some Greater Knowing we’re all connected to?”

  Kate stared at him in awe. “Gavin, that’s it!” she exclaimed. Her inner knowing validated what Gavin had just said, but the understanding was lacking. She sought clarity as she put her thoughts into words. “Maybe that’s what all this represents. We are to each other that greater part of ourselves. It’s the connectedness of all beings epitomized in this unique relationship we’ve created.”

  “Wait. You told me that once. I asked who you were, and you told me you represent all that I am and all that I want to be.”

  “What else did I say?” Kate laughed. “I want to know what other impressive wisdom I’m spewing as a representative of All that Is.”

  Gavin thought for a moment. “You told me that you’re everywhere I am; you’re always with me. You said that my dreams are your dreams, and that my experiences are yours, too. You said that we’re inseparable.…and you explained the reason I chose to go to prison,” he added.

  Kate knew the reason. He’d shared it with her on their drive to his parents’ farm—the drive he had no memory of. If he’d told her at the time that he had learned it from her in a dream, she wasn’t sure she would have believed him.

  Their lives, their thoughts, their dreams, and their realities had somehow become intertwined. Gavin was such a part of her life and she his that there was no clear line where one left off and the other began. It was a lot to understand and accept.

  Kate could feel the truth of it, but she had questions. If we represent the greater part of each other, it makes sense that our realities would intersect. But why now and never before? Why have I never heard or read of anyone who has experienced similar things? And was our time together just a dream, or was it real?

  Gavin had described reality as multidimensional with layers that people can experience consciously or unconsciously. Hindsight had given them a clearer understanding, but in the midst of such an extraordinary experience, it seemed impossible to know what was real and what wasn’t.

  Who’s to say this isn’t just another dream? Kate had to dismiss the thought. It didn’t feel good; it wasn’t serving her. She chose instead to focus on what Gavin had said earlier: Love is real; it may be the only thing that is. And love, she possessed. She had been assured of Gavin’s love, and no matter what happened in the future, she had to trust that nothing could take that away from her.

  GAVIN LEFT KATE reluctantly that evening, still awed by what had transpired. He kept telling himself that they had their whole lives ahead of them, but it was hard to be patient when all he wanted was to be with her every second.

  He’d invited her to his parents’ farm the next day, and she’d readily accepted. In light of that, he decided to prepare his parents for Kate’s arrival. Inviting the director of the rehabilitation program he was involved with to meet his parents after knowing her only two days might seem a bit sudden. Not only that, but his mom was intuitive; she may very well sense that something was going on between them.

  Carol was in the living room, curled up on the sofa, reading, as he walked in. He sat down on the recliner facing her. “How was your day?” she asked.

  He would have liked to tell his mom everything. He felt guilty hiding anything from her, especially something so exciting. “It was great,” he responded, trying to apply just the right amount of enthusiasm. “Mom, Kate and I need to go over the program tomorrow, so I invited her here. I hope that’s okay.”

  She looked at him with a slight crease in her brow, but responded politely. “Of course, that’s fine, dear.”

  He could tell that she already suspected something, and he wasn’t sure what to say. To fill the awkward silence that followed, he began telling her about Kate’s background and the work she was doing.

  “Gavin,” she interrupted, looking tentative. “Do you have feelings for Kate?”

  “Mmm.” He nodded affirmatively.

  “Does she know?”

  He nodded again, knowing he couldn’t end the conversation there. “Mom,” he began uneasily, “there’s something I haven’t told you.”

  Carol looked at him with surprise and curiosity but remained silent.

  “When I was in the infirmary this spring, I had this dream. Only, it was more than just a dream. I met Kate somehow, and I learned from her.

  “When I got out and found that none of it had actually happene
d, I was tempted to write the whole thing off as a weird hallucination or something. But when I started looking into it, I found that she did exist, and she taught the very things that I’d discovered. So I decided to learn all I could. I even hoped to meet her one day, but I never dreamed it would turn out like this.

  “I had no idea that she’d be at the prison the other day when I went in to talk to the warden. When she found out that I was familiar with her work and wanted to help out, she invited me to go for coffee. That’s when she told me that she’d had a similar experience. She dreamed about me, too, Mom,” Gavin paused, looking at his mother for acceptance, “...when she was in a coma.

  “Something’s happening between us,” he concluded, trying to make his incredible story sound normal. “It’s something we don’t really understand, but we both feel it.”

  His mom remained silent, and Gavin was curious to know what she was thinking. It wasn’t the whole truth, but he felt it was as far as he could go and as much as his mom would be able to accept. Now looking at her face he hoped he hadn’t said too much. “I know that sounds strange…”

  She shook her head. “What’s strange is that I’ve had a feeling about this. I had a dream awhile back about you and a woman you’d met. It’s funny...you brought her home here, and as soon as we met her we knew—both your father and I—we just knew she was right for you.”

  Gavin was elated, but he had to ask, “So you don’t think it’s odd? The dreams we’ve had and how we feel about each other…so soon?”

  “God works in mysterious ways,” Carol smiled. “It’s best not to question it. You know how you feel. You can trust that to guide you.”

  Gavin went to bed that night feeling as though his life was being perfectly orchestrated. It filled him with a bubbling sense of euphoria and an invincibility, the like he’d never known. He could be or do or have anything. Although he didn’t have lofty dreams and ambitions, those that he did have were unfolding perfectly. It caused him to think about what else he wanted in life.

  He wanted someone to spend his life with, and he was pretty sure he wanted to have children one day. He could see himself married to Kate, but he didn’t know how she felt about children. The fact that she didn’t have any at her age led him to conclude she’d either chosen not to or wasn’t able to. Gavin knew he loved

  Kate enough to let go of that dream. He had two nieces he adored, and Sandy had confided in him that she and her husband were trying to get pregnant again, so he would have the experience of a baby in his life.

  He tried to turn his attention to other areas of his life and imagine what he would create if he were truly unlimited, but instead fell asleep with thoughts of Kate, memories of their amazing afternoon, and anticipation about the day ahead.

  Chapter 20

  DRIVING TO GAVIN’S farm was like replaying the scene from her dream. Kate sipped her favorite latte and turned the radio to an 80s channel, but she didn’t need the props to help her relive the day. She passed fields and buildings that she had seen before. When she got to Redding, she remembered the turnoff as if she traveled the road frequently. The final stretch to Gavin’s farm reminded her of the issues he was wrestling with as they neared his home.

  More than anything, she was thrilled to be seeing Gavin again. She might have been nervous about meeting his parents, but Gavin had called the night before and told her of his mom’s reaction. Afterward they’d talked long into the night, and she felt like a young girl in love for the first time.

  As she pulled into the McDermotts’ yard, a dog bounded up to the car, barking and wagging his tail in greeting. She questioned the variance from her dream visit and immediately wondered what other differences she’d find. Gavin came out to meet her and settled the dog, which he informed her was a recent addition to their family. “I’m imagining that I’m kissing you right now,” he winked.

  “We’ll have to behave ourselves,” Kate replied, unable to keep the smile off her face. “I don’t want your parents to think I’m some cougar trying to snatch herself a delicious morsel.”

  “That’s quite the analogy,” Gavin laughed. “I kind of like it.”

  He led the way into the house and made introductions. Kate was pleased to recognize Gavin’s parents and relieved to feel the same warmth she’d received during their first meeting. After a few moments of small talk, Gavin’s dad excused himself to work in the garden, and Carol joined them as they moved into the living room.

  “Gavin’s told us about your program,” Carol smiled at Kate. “It sounds impressive. I think it’s great that he’s going to be involved in it, too.”

  “It is,” Kate agreed. “I worked hard trying to get the funding for a trial program. I wanted my team here with me, but now that it’s just me, I’m grateful to have help. Gavin’s ideal for this. He can relate to what the men are going through. He’s already helped me see things differently. We’re going to adjust the program slightly, now that he’s given me insights on the men I’ll be working with.”

  “Tell me more about the work you do with the men.” Carol sounded genuinely interested.

  Kate was thrilled to talk about her work. It was truly her passion. She gave Carol a summary of the program. “Our first goal is to help the men find their emotional/spiritual center. I call it their inner space. Through guided meditation, I help them create and maintain their space. It’s the foundation they need to begin the rest of the work.

  “This space becomes their control room, so to speak, the center, the hub. I help them see that the condition of their space determines the condition of their life. It’s based on the premise that our thoughts determine our experience; what we think about expands to become our reality.

  “Once they begin to see the correlation between their thoughts and what plays out in their life, I help them see that individual thoughts and even entire belief systems can be changed thereby changing the outcome of their experience.”

  “That sounds marvelous,” Carol exclaimed. “Gavin mentioned that you’ve already had success with this teaching in other areas. It’ll be great to see what you can do to help the men in Swenton.”

  “I can’t guarantee success, but I can offer hope, and I can provide tools for those willing to change. Most people who’ve committed a crime have done so from a place of extreme powerlessness. Often the act is a way of trying to take back power in their lives. I show them other ways of reclaiming their power.

  “I also introduce them to the idea that all human beings are interconnected and part of something much bigger. Whether they believe in God or want nothing to do with the idea of a higher power, this process works and can be tailored to meet their individual needs.”

  Kate noticed Gavin watching her as she spoke, and saw love radiating from him. She was illuminated when she finished, as she often was when she shared her teaching. His mom was smiling, too.

  “Well,” Carol stood up, “that all sounds so interesting. But I’m sure you have work to do to prepare for this, so I’ll leave you two alone. I have peas in the garden that need picking. Kate, you’ll stay for supper?”

  It was more of an assumption than an invitation, but Kate smiled graciously. “I’d love to. Thank you, Mrs. McDermott.”

  “Oh please, call me Carol.”

  Kate thought she noticed her wink at Gavin as she turned to leave the room. She nearly laughed, but managed to hold it until Carol had gone outside.

  “Did I see right?” she asked, still trying to suppress her laughter. “Did she wink at you?”

  “Yeah,” Gavin moved toward her on the sofa. “She knows something is going on between us, and she obviously approves; she’s a very perceptive woman. I think we should confirm her suspicions.”

  “I agree.” Kate leaned into his kiss and was catapulted into rapturous bliss. Kissing Gavin was the most intoxicating experience and the only thing she wanted to be doing in that moment.

  The blissful moment didn’t last nearly long enough, however, as their kiss was
interrupted by the side door banging. They quickly created a distance between them as a little girl, whom Kate recognized as Gavin’s niece, scooted into the living room and stopped short, obviously not expecting to see a strange woman sitting beside her favorite uncle. When Gavin opened his arms, the little girl giggled and ran happily into them.

  Kate watched the heartwarming exchange and felt the usual longing that accompanied such a scene, but this time a new thought entered her mind. Gavin’s great with kids; it’s so obvious. Will a future with me be fair to him if it means no possibility of children?

  Carol came in minutes later and apologized for the interruption. “I forgot to tell you that Rob was dropping off the girls today. Sandy’s working days, and he has a meeting this afternoon. We’ll try to keep them entertained outside.”

  Gavin kissed the little girl and sent her off with her grandma before turning back to Kate. “Now, where were we?”

  Kate sighed. She hated to spoil their precious time alone, but needed to address the subject, and the moment seemed opportune.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “There’s still so much we haven’t talked about. When I see you with your niece...I mean...you’re a natural with children, Gavin. I’m sure you’ll want kids of your own...one day.”

  The look on his face told her she was right, and she felt her stomach tighten.

  “Kate,” he took a deep breath and reached for her hands. “My life hasn’t exactly been normal, but I don’t regret it. I don’t know how the rest of my life will unfold, but I have to trust it will be what it’s meant to be, that my desires will be met somehow. Right now my greatest desire is to be with you. I don’t just mean for now; I want to spend my life with you. I want to marry you, Kate.”

  The impromptu proposal shocked Kate. She wasn’t sure if it was a proposal or just an impulsive statement, an indication of his desire in the moment.

  “Gavin, I’m forty-two…” She stopped, not sure how to finish the sentence.